Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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