I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
