So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
