I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
