I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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