I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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