yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
