shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
