i permit you to call me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
