My hair reeks of homosexuality.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
