Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
