I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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