Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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