Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
