yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
