He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize