I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
