I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize