Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
