It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
