I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
