I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
