hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize