So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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