last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
