So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The power of my boobs compel you
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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