I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
