is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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