I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Everything about him screamed your future.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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