Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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