Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
