he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
