i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
