We're facebook friends in real life
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
