You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
