he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
