on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
