I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
worst night to have a conscience
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
