i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
