Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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