Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
