R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm like, not good at living.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
