i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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