we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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