Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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