just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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