4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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