but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
