feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
