ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
