Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
