We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
