I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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