For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
