Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
