chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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