Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
