$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize