how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Every concussion has its silver lining
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
