I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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