The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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