she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
