Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize